Here is some rejected material from my movie script.

Let’s put dinosaurs in the opening credits. Just to make sure people know there’s gonna be dinosaurs.

Giant spiders are dinosaurs, too.

better go catch it.

Anyway we can abandon ship for the movie? No?

In the future, no one will remember how to swim.

Boy, that was….exhausting? Tramautic? How are we supposed to feel? Best to just lay down.

It’s nice to see a group of people unburdened by ability come together.

The beautiful juxtoposition of interstellar travel and the need to find a payphone.

A female astronuat with a slinky bikini under her uniform seems to make sense for the 70s.

She’s just a little upset because someone died a few minutes ago.

well, you haven’t eaten it yet.

Yes, signal mirrors to flag down passing space ships.

The planet reminds me of Nam, the only place I truly felt home.

They were extinct and all.

Good lord are these people observant.

As the medical officer, I feel you should point out the hazards first.

so begins the dance of death.

Ah, the sweet, noble stegosauruas. Rushing to defend these newcomers to their lands. A prince among dinosaurs.

oh, fool, a noble fool. the honor of a goodly death in the aid of your companyions. or poor decision making. it’s hard to tell.

The stegosauraus’ death may be the finest scene in the whole movie.

Wait, didn’t he say they were down to two lasers…

how did he ever make captain?

i think he speaks for us all.

of all the attempted dramatic gestures, that was the charlie brown-est

most of the slips and stumbles in the movie are completely improvised.

did the movie just sad-trombone it’s own joke?

not a buffet king for miles.

in the history of science fiction, finding eggs is never a good thing.

arts and crafts, arts and crafts

must new age mysticism be brought into everything?

oh, this is one of the films with a message? is it? was that a message? 51:41

i think the drunkeness is maybe not acting. i don’t see them running a tight set. 53:36

pocket sand! shshshshaw! 57:19

kind of admire the film’s lack of focus on plot, narrative, or even being able to make out the actors in a scene. 1:02:07

lighting must not have been in the budget 1:05:22

yes, murder will make us human again. that’s what was missing. 1:06:13

that’s the most american thing i ever heard. 1:06:13

please go listen to proud to be an american

this is probablly a low career moment for the stop motion dinosaurs

who the hell’s out here shining mirrors in people’s faces. oh christ. i wish he’d get eaten. 1:12:59

This approach to gags wasn’t really working for me. It’s sort of hard to riff by yourself. Since I kept ending up with huge gaps between jokes and some really lame material, I’ve decided to try a different approach.

This is a clip from Wizard People, Dear Readers a re-make of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by Brad Neely. Definitely a bit further separated from canon than my first approach, but that is always the fan’s decision. So, more movie re-watching and writing tonight, but I’m much happier, I’m producing a more complete feeling text.

Written with StackEdit.

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About tomwink

Graduate student at Rowan University currently researching public spaces and their impact

Category

fan activity, fandom, movies, participatory culture, Uncategorized